How to deal with Imposter Syndrome while promoting yourself
What Imposter Syndrome Is:
It’s the feeling of not being expert enough, good enough, intuitive enough, smart enough, able enough to do/say what people expect of you even though there is daily evidence that you already are doing and saying just that.
Let’s break down your relationship with feeling like a fake and what you can do about it.
1. Be Proud of Your Imposter Syndrome
Yes, be proud of feeling the overwhelming need to compare yourself. Be proud of hesitating to speak up in meetings. Be proud because your Imposter Syndrome is a sign that you are constantly benchmarking and creating awareness of your limitations. This is EXACTLY what we need in the world of fast-paced change.
The folks you’re comparing yourself to who seem super confident in what they say and keep saying they know everything will have a rude awakening when factors change. These exceptional times have shown that cataclysmic change can happen at any moment.
2. Know You Are Not Alone
You’re in great company. I, personally, have to keep a journal of my accomplishments and revisit it weekly to remember I’m worthy of the message I’m sending to my dream audience. If that’s not enough 😋 Fast Company has a great article providing names like Natalie Portman (Award-winning filmmaker), Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Facebook), and Howard Schultz (former CEO of Starbucks) are few of the many who face Imposter Syndrome regularly. More? This TED-Ed video mentions Maya Angelou (Award-winning author and inspirational figure), Albert Einstein (Redefiner of how we relate to the world of physics and maths).
This begs the question, if these folks who have hit all our societal criteria for success can’t feel confident, how will you ever feel confident? In answer, see point 1. Be Proud of Your Imposter Syndrome.
3. Know Where Imposter Syndrome Comes From
Because the things you do well comes easily to you, it hits against our social programming that struggling results in reward. You may feel compelled to do things you’re weak at because it feels more comfortable struggling for reward. The beauty today of coaching and discussing emotions is you can reprogram your limiting beliefs. A great start is to ask people you know, kind of know, and don’t know about what they see as strengths in you.
4. Recognize Your Value
Because you are super aware of your field and what you don’t know, this may play a part of focusing on what you don’t know. Validate your value by asking your dream audience what they know on the subject. Listen deeply at what makes your knowledge and skills unique. Write it down. Look at it regularly.
The value you package to present to the world is not something you can pull out of thin air. It’s something to unearth, shape, and name. For support, this is what my 3-Month Personal Branding Program is all about, you can book a Free Intro Call to learn more.
5. Convert Your Fear Into Excitement
If you’ve read this long, it means you naturally get excited to learn. Here’s another opportunity to stay in that curiosity space instead of falling into the pit of “everyone is going to find out I’m a fake”. Try these statements on, like a shoe at a store, and see what’s easiest to fit into:
- “What kinds of questions could I receive that would throw me off and make me feel fake?”
Enjoy learning the answers ✨ and mostly, enjoy answering them 💕
Brianne Wik poses the greatest question to you: What if you could be wrong and not lose an ounce of your value? What would that world be like? It sounds like a pretty cool world!
Spoiler: you are the perfect person to create that world. - “What achievements do I have?”
When you explore this, know deep in your soul you are the worst person to answer it. Do not look to yourself for these answers. Look at your CV. Ask past employers. Ask friends who have witnessed your journey. Ask potential employers during interviews what struck them about your CV. Look at your transcripts or any employer feedback. Look at your recommendation letters. Once you create this list, refer to it regularly. Rewrite it so your hand knows more about your achievements than you do. - “What do people see as unique about my knowledge?”
From point 4, lean in to what they say. If you relate to Imposter Syndrome, you may also resist compliments. It will be SO easy for you to shrug it off and say, “Oh, this person loves me, of course they’re going to use mujamala*.” Alright, I’ll take your offer and point out that even if this person stretched to give you an answer, it won’t be based on fiction. For someone to stretch and give you a compliment (think of times you did this), it will be based on potential they see in you. - “What potential do I have?”
What are your aspirations? What is the thing you’re so afraid of getting or not getting? Really sit in it. Here’s the kicker, your potential is as valid and as interesting as your achievements. More in the next point.
6. Recognize Your Potential Is as Valuable as Your Experience
I’ve been hard on you during this listicle, so let’s take a big ol’ step back from you. I won’t bother you for this paragraph. Consider a story you witnessed in a movie or book. Consider the main character, and really think of this question: Would you have enjoyed the story if they had all the answers from the beginning?
This is how the human mind functions. Story, narrative, potential, and risk are all things that engage us and connect us with words on pages. That vulnerability and aspiration moves something deep in our soul. This is POWERFUL. Despite it being POWERFUL, for some reason you have put it aside as things that are great on others but not on you. Why, bubu? Why you? Why are you held to different standards than the people you look up to?
7. Watch Out for Rumination
Our brains have a magical tendency to think and think and think and think about problems. This was super helpful back when we had to solve problems for our race’s survival, but now you may be experiencing this when people give you criticisms. Your mind might over-focus on what people think and take for granted what doesn’t need a solution (i.e. what you’re doing right). Of course! That makes so much sense that you’re not focusing on what makes you valuable… You don’t “need” to for survival.
But, bubu, are you in the game of survival or thriving?
If you notice you focus on the bad more than the good, I offer life coaching to help separate reality from emotions that don’t serve you so you can be comfortable in 100% visibility. You can book a Free Intro Call to learn more.
